I see my holistic doctor, Dr. Stephanie Tyson, every two weeks right now during my pregnancy. What is a holistic doctor? Hmm, good question. I just call her this because it’s easier for me to wrap my head around. And it’s easier than saying…she’s a Chiropractor who practices Quantum Neurology, Applied Kinesiology, Cranial Sacral Therapy, Neuro Emotional Technique and Neuro Cranial Integration, among other amazing skills I and her other clients benefit from. Maybe I should just call her one Dr. Bad A** Mamma Jamma.
Anyhoo, in my recent session, she addressed how my adrenal glands were off (as they often are) and how they can become over stressed from my fears and emotions. (I’m already eating clean, moving well and taking awesome vitamins & minerals, which can also be a factor for stressing out adrenals. Now that I think about it, I guess anything can stress out your adrenals, since they release your “stress hormone” cortisol and have to manage all the types of stress you put on your body, whether it’s nutritional, physical, environmental or psychological.)
Anyhoo #2, we all carry fear. And probably fears of many different types. Some we know about. Others are probably buried so deep, it’ll take a number of sessions with a professional fear-finder to unearth. Where do these fears come from? How long have we had them? How do they impact our dreams, goals, ambitions and self-confidence?
I think we all handle our fears differently. For many of us, we sweep these life-suckers underneath the rug and pretend we don’t have them. For others, we carry it around like a heavy weight we can’t let go of. Either way, it’s there. And I’ve noticed the more I pretend I don’t have a fear of something, the more obvious it is.
So let’s get it out there already. What are you afraid of? What fears weigh you down? What gets in the way of you living the ultimate version of your life? What stops you from being your happiest right now in this moment?
I know, we’re getting down to the nitty gritty ugliness of truth. Scary! When I restarted this blog back in September 2015 (after a lengthy hiatus), I said I was here to share the good, the bad and the awesomely ugly. To me, the awesomely ugly is the best part….it’s the stuff we don’t always address but it’s at the heart of how we feel, who we are, and what we’re really made of. It’s my way of saying “Let’s accept your whole self, especially the perfectly imperfect bits. These perfectly imperfect parts are what makes you, you. You’re meant to be unique. You’re meant to be imperfect.” And besides, perfection is based on perspective. And this is coming from a Virgo perfectionist. I’ve come along way to be able to embrace the idea that perfection is completely overrated and isn’t even applicable when it comes a real (and happy) human being.
Anyhoo #3, let’s get back to your fears. I’ve stalled long enough for you. What are they? Can you write them out on a piece of paper right now? Don’t worry, I’ll wait….
If you’re having trouble opening up these frightening doors, I’ll put myself out there first. Are you ready? Here are a few of mine…A fear of not having enough money. A fear of disappointing others. A fear of people thinking I’m not smart. A fear of not being able to be myself around others. A fear of not being the best. A fear of not being able to do what I love while making enough income to support and raise our family the way I want to. A fear of not being able to travel because of finances. A fear of not being able to live where we want to.
Ahhh, that felt good. I feel slightly naked now, sharing all that with you (who are you, by the way? I would like to know this!). Yet now I no longer feel restricted and confined by my “tight pants”. Yay, I can run free! As you can see, Will Ferrell is the only one who can wear the tight pants…
Now back to yours. Write down however many fears you can think of. Try writing them in really simple terms as opposed to complex descriptions, like you’re sharing this with a kid.
Have you written them down yet? If so, continue on. If not, you shall not pass! (LOTR nerd alert)
Dr. Tyson (my Dr. Bad A** Mamma Jamma) shared with me how your fear(s) influences your life, health, dreams and such. She also reiterated the importance of releasing them. If you’re holding onto your fears, you can’t make space for peace, happiness, opportunity or possibility.
Since I like to play in the dirt and growing food, let’s look at it in terms of growing a tree. If your soil is dead, totally lacking beneficial nutrients and microbes, then how can a lush apple tree grow from it? It can’t. You need to chuck the lifeless soil in a compost bin and in place of it, add nutrient rich soil to grow your apple tree. Good things grow from good things. You have to let go of the nutrient-void soil to make room for the nutrient-rich soil. Let go of your fear to make room for opportunity. Let go of your fear to make room for peace. Let go of your fear to make room for happiness. Let go of your fear to make room for possibility.
I’m sure there are many ways to go about this. But here is a simple thing you can do as often as you need. Start by filling in your known fears and seeing what you cultivate. Do this with as many fears as you can think of. I definitely recommend writing this down so you can look back on this 1 month / 6 months / 1 year down the line. See what’s changed and how you’ve grown. Oh my, what a lush apple tree you’ve become!
I release my fear of to create space for .
Here is an example:
I release my fear of not being able to be myself around others to create space for the real, quirky, odd, imperfect me.
I find that when I look back at a fear I had and most importantly, what it was stopping me from doing…I often think to myself, “Seriously? That was holding me back?”. The first time Matt and I created an off-the-beaten-path Yoga Retreat to Nicaragua, I was worried that no one would want to go. It almost stopped me from organizing the trip in the first place. Yet an internal urge to share my passion for unique travel experiences won over my fear of people not liking it (or me). And thank goodness for that! It was a thrilling adventure, I’ll never forget this trip, the people who opened themselves up to such a unique experience. You never know where your choices to overcome personal fears may take you. Creating and leading these trips opened the doors for us to lead volunteer trips to Rwanda with Kids Play International, a nonprofit geared towards using sport to promote gender equity in communities impacted by genocide. All because I was willing to release my fear to do something I love.
- What new experience or challenge has been on your mind yet you’ve been afraid to pursue?
- Has there been a time when you overcame a fear? How did you feel afterwards? What else did it lead to?
- Is there an opportunity for you today to release a fear? Which one? Why do you want to let it go? What will you gain if you do?
It’s time to dive in and go for it, my friend. Whatever “it” may be for you.
It’s your life, after all.
**Anytime I speak about my experience with someone, including Dr. Tyson, I am purely sharing my personal perspective of my experience with them. I am not quoting them or speaking on their behalf. I hope you know this already, but I feel like I need to say it anyway…just in case. The end.